it’s been two weeks now that i haven’t got the time to post anything. too busy and too stress out to even blog.
today is my off day from work and sadly i don’t want to be off. i want to work because i don’t want to be stuck at home and over think things and depress myself out for no reason. my life is so pathetic from two weeks ago until now. when will i make myself un-pathetic? well i can’t because i’m so damn emotionally weak to do so.
fuck my life!!!
remember what i said on my last post? about dropping the guys i’m talking to? well i couldn’t stop myself from talking to the third when he text me. i suppose to ignore all the text and phone calls and i did besides this guy.
panda is the nickname i’m going to use on here. one of the reason why is because he loves panda.
so of the blue, panda text me and i couldn’t resist his text. he text “rain makes one hell of a lonely night”. and he was right. it was a hell of a lonely night. i want someone to cuddle and he want someone to hold but we can’t do it that night because it was already late. but two nights ago we finally got the chance to do it.
i went to his place right after work and we chatted for a while then later he turns off all the lights and ask me to come into his room. we laid there for a while and chatted some more than he got close and automatically my left arm went under his head for him to lay this head on and my right arm wrap around his stomach. at that point it felt just right and romantic, to me felt like it but i don’t know how he feels about it.
he turn around to face me as i’m already facing him. he gave me a kiss on the cheek and then one on the lips. my heart was racing because i felt something, a spark between us. i got hear my heart ponding in my ears and as he laid his head near my chest, i know and i hope that he knows that my heart was beating hard for him.
after we cuddle, i left and that was it. and really haven’t talk since.
as of right now i don’t know what this mean. what do this mean? i don’t want to ask him because i don’t want to chase him away. i’m hanging right now by a rope around my neck because of not knowing how he feels. but in a way i don’t want to know because i don’t want to hear the words that will hurt me. i’m scared to get hurt again.
No comments:
Post a Comment