met up with panda last tuesday before i hit the gym. the gym is literally right in front of his apartment. so i called him and he came out to meet me. i wasn’t nervous or being one some else like i did couple of time before. but this time, i was actually being me. i was happy, cheerful and care free.
he need to see who i really am and i’m showing it to him. and he actually coming around. he’s not really keeping the distance from me any more. and then it leads to this new subject i’m about to tell you. well it was suppose to be a new topic but i might as while put it with this topic.
dot dot dot
what am i thinking? why i’m i putting myself in this shit again? well not really. lol.
i went to the bar with my brother and his boyfriend and met up with panda and his friends over the weekend. we just hanging out as friend. that’s what he wanted and thats what i’m doing. but we in up dancing together towards the end of the night.
my feelings starts to grow all over again. my brother and his boyfriend can see that i’m really into him. so clearly he can see that too, but nope, he still see me as a friend.
but can what can i do? the answer is nothing. all i can do is put my feelings to the side and be his friend. ive been doing that pretty well but sometime it just comes out but the friend thing grow over the feelings. you know what i mean?
(sighs) why can i have the guy that i wanted? the answer is clearly right in front of me. i’m not their type. ahhhhahaha
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