Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I SHOULDN’T BE UPSET…


i’m upset right now but i know i really shouldn’t be upset or mad at panda. he wasn’t happy at all for what he have done and i wasnt happy either.
he text me early in the morning saying that victor - the guy who went to school with me and that i don’t like - slept over at his place last night. his reason why victor slept over is he need some comfort because he just found out that is friend just killed himself two days ago.
at first the thoughts of victor and panda came to play but then it went away and i felt sorry for him and the loss of his friend. but later on when i met up with him at the gym he actually told me the truth that they actually did have sex. my heart sank and i couldn’t think straight. i was upset, angry, and mad. panda wasn’t happy for what he have done and i wasn’t happy either and he could see it in my face. i sure did show him how i felt about this situation which i really shouldn’t because we are nothing but just friends.
even though i keep denying that we’re just friends and i don’t have anymore feelings towards him, but i still do. i will always have feelings for panda no matter if i’m talking to someone else that i’m digging. i just don’t know why i still like him.
we really didn’t talk while we were working out. i really didn’t want to talk to him and he really didn’t want to push it so we worked out in silent.
when we were about to part ways, i saw a hickeys on his neck and that just made it worst of how i felt about the situation. i never notice it the whole time we were working out. thank god that i saw it as we part ways because i know i couldn’t stand any more minutes or seconds being around him. i was getting more angry and more upset that i just want to hit him so bad but i just walked away without saying anything to him. that is the only best way i could do is just to walk away…

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